I saw you for who you were, and I loved what you brought—your attention, your questions, the slow pace. I had never felt that way before. I didn’t come from a world like that. I loved that you weren’t too wild, but your touch of chaos was still too much for me. It stirred my own demons—half asleep, half awake. They chased me, and because you opened a small door to hell, they invited mine to the party.
But I’m not that kind of woman anymore. I’m different now—wiser, a little safer for myself. I have no trust in your actions toward me, but it’s your way of living. I don’t feel chosen. I don’t feel included. I see the game, but I turn away because it makes me sad. And still, I’m sad anyway. You’re not there in my future, and that makes me sad. You weren’t there in my past, and I was sad then, too.
But you showed me something, and I’ll always be grateful. The pure love I had for you was part real, part fantasy—a love shaped by the rose-colored glasses I wore. The little bit you gave me was so good. I had never felt that before. I didn’t come from that kind of world.
You had enough of me. I speak in emojis. I reject myself. I’m terrified of losing you, so I sabotage. I cling, I get jealous, I try to control. You have someone better. You see better, and I believe you. I saw how you looked at her like she was gold. I believe you. You give her what you refused to give me. I believe you. I believed you so much that I began to think I was nothing. I blamed myself for everything that went wrong.
Then one day, I hit rock bottom. But I didn’t die. I didn’t run. I didn’t fake it. I let myself fall, and God called me out. He called out my victim mindset, my need for drama, my fantasies, my self-pity. And what I saw was a little girl who needed the love I had forgotten to give her. I saw a woman—beautiful in her own way—but instead of recognizing her unique beauty, I had compared her to others. I robbed myself of radiance, all because I felt you had chosen someone else.
But who are you, anyway? When did I give you the power to destroy me like this?
And then, God gave me another gift: the realization that I’m alone in my head with all these stories. I’ve been taking away my own chances to be happy, leaving myself empty, always looking for something to fill the void.
I’m sorry—I really wanted to love you. But I’ll start with me. How can I truly see you if I can’t even see the harm I’ve done to myself?
Now, I watch you love her from afar, and I’m happy. I can see you’re happy, and I feel blessed to have met you. Because through you, I finally met myself.
I am trustworthy. I am beautiful. I am bubbly. I am determined. I am compassionate. I am sensitive. I am caring. I am loyal. I am lovable. I am sensual. I am desirable. I am fire. I am nature. I am courage. I am intelligent.
I follow God, and I know He planned this meeting for me—to show me how amazing life with love can be.
JÅ
Faith is inspire from a love story
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